Follow up

Follow up

If you read the last post, you know that it took a lot for me to write about my own experiences. Unfortunately, I felt that it needed to be done because I was triggered by the reaction of people who are so quick to disregard other women with their own stories. They question their timing, intentions and honesty. I have a serious fucking problem with that. How dare anyone question them? We all want the truth to come out, but to say it is something that is being done because it is a political move is 100% bullshit. How can anyone with children, sisters, mothers, etc. say this? I hope that your child is never at a party and is forced down, groped while feeling powerless and then hides that pain for 30 years. You would just keep living your happy life thinking nothing has happened to her, but deep down she hides secrets. 

The women who have come forward about any allegations don’t do it lightly. To think it is anything more than seeing the person who assaulted them celebrated and wanting to make sure people know the real person they are honoring… well, you clearly cannot see or know that it is that they have spent years going through. Those memories come flashing back every time you see their face, hear their name…

It makes me sick to think if Kavanaugh were my assailant. If I had to be inundated with images of him, thinking how he would have some power over me in the Supreme Court, directly or indirectly… would make me sick to my stomach. He had power over me once, to think that he would be a part of the highest power in our country would drive me mad. I can see why Dr. Ford came forward. It is because she couldn’t stand to see the man that is the face of her nightmares being celebrated without the true knowledge of who is truly is.

Men in power feel they are untouchable in situations like this. That has to change. Females are not things. We are not here for your entertainment, to be fucked around with and then be free of consequences. I don’t give a shit if this happened 100 years ago (yes, physically impossible) but the consequences should be the same. Time doesn’t erase assault. Being in power doesn’t erase consequences. Living a “great life” after assaulting people while you were drunk doesn’t mean you don’t reap what you sow.

I want people to think about if that were there child. If their daughter was assault, raped, molested, sodomized… would you tell them they should have come forward sooner? Would you criticize them for not knowing all the details of their assault? Would you tell them that “that’s just boys being boys?” Would you ask them what they were wearing? Or why they didn’t talk to more people about it? Would you question if she was coming forward for political or monetary gain?

If your answer is yes, you are part of the problem. And sadly, no one I want in my life. 

I am acutely aware that false accusations are a problem in this country. However, when we start to take the few false accusations and apply it to every case of a man in power being innocent and the woman being a liar, it gives pigs like Kavanaugh, Trump, Clinton, O’Reilly, etc., ammunition to continue to do what they do.

It tells young men in grade school and in high school that they can do the same thing, and if a woman talks about it, accuses him of it, he can just attack her, tear her down and no one will believe her. Women shouldn’t have to collect evidence during an assault for people to believe them, men should be raised not to assault women. Men shouldn’t be raised to believe that this is some sort of phase they go through and once they are doing “sowing their oats” or “making conquests”… they should be raised to treat girls and women with respect (and vice versa). But the minute someone says no, struggles, is drunk and cannot consent, is passed out… is the minute a man should walk away. Not look at as an opportunity to score. 

So, if you are quick to say Dr. Ford is a liar, she is only coming forward for politics and are happy to put party over truth… please take every effort to remove yourself from my life. If you read my story and still feel that someone it is ok to do what he did… remove yourself. I have no time in my life going forward for people who want to blame victims and use excuses for this behavior. I will no longer be triggered by ignorance. Plain and simple.



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